I always like learning from your writings and your instruction, Edie. As I move further South, (San Jose), I might be able to take more advantage of your instruction.
I have a thoughts for you about the writings of yours, and most dance advice for men and women. While I see lots on how to make a woman feel loved, appreciated, respected, I don’t see much on how a woman can reward a man for his efforts. Yes, for the male dancer, there is always the reward of doing something well, and the selfless humility of helping someone else appreciate herself. But I see most articles unconsciously saying, “All women know how to make a man feel good and not cross the line.” I don’t think that is true. I think most women know how to let a man know their interested in romance, but some don’t know how to show appreciation in a lady like way.
Possibly, the most sane and safe way, is to stand somewhat near him without directly facing him, keeping body to body contact out of it, body parts not showing, look him in the eye, and say, “Thank you, I really enjoyed your dancing. You made me feel (_____) and I appreciate the time and effort you have put into learning to dance the way you do.”
Then, either with with feminine subtleties, (depending on the lady’s agenda), or with a direct statement, tell him, “I would certainly enjoy dancing with you any time.” Of course, always end positive communication with a smile.
I know it’s incredibly difficult for women to be direct. Maybe even simplifying the above is better. But letting a good dancer know you enjoyed his mental, physical, and emotional efforts is ALWAYS a good policy, on or off the dance floor, in any kind of relationship to him.
It is possible to be classy, be women and men, let the other know you appreciate their dancing, the way they express their masculinity or femininity, and go home alone or with a significant other and no further attachment or agenda necessary. It feels GREAT as a man to have clear cut female appreciation. When I give clear cut, agenda free appreciation to the ladies I dance with, I can tell they enjoy the same thing, knowing they are appreciated, and have nothing to ‘pay’ for.
It’s not unlike what a man faces opening doors for ladies these days; about one in four will say something, one will look at him, and 2 will walk through completely oblivious to the gesture.
Ladies, if a guy wants to open the door for you, accept it graciously and thank him for crying out loud. There are very few men like this left, and we desperately need them! They’re showing respect for us, so why don’t you return the courtesy? Keep your feminist attitude OFF THE DANCE FLOOR. Do it ANYWHERE ELSE – BUT NOT IN SALSA. Learn to be ladies again.
– Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!
Edie The Salsa FREAK!! Website