“But I don’t want to be a
boring dancer to them…”
– from a Budding Salsero
By Edie, The Salsa FREAK
Some men have a “list” of female dancers they only dream about asking “some day”.
you’ve got to swallow your pride,
and just ask high-caliber females to dance once in a while.
They won’t bite you.
To get better, on occasion, you’ve got to practice with some of the best female dancers to build your confidence. You’ll find that these women are easier to lead, and are familiar with the moves that you’ve been learning from watching, or taking classes, or are ultimately interested in doing. You can even tell her, “You know what, I’m not that great of a dancer, but I really would like to be. May I have this next dance with you for some practice on what it’s like to lead someone of your caliber?” If/when she says, “Sure.”, take advantage of this time, and don’t be afraid to ask her if you’re doing a move right or not. If she’s a decent human being, she’ll be more than happy to help you for this ONE SONG only.
There are many times when I’ve been to a club, and I’ve seen countless great female dancers just sitting there, not being asked to dance. Many of these women have had to resort to asking men! Why?
Guys are intimidated by them.
These women came here TO DANCE, and exercise… not to just sit there.
Go up to them, and ask them to dance (w/ the statement above). They won’t bite you. They may say “no”. BIG DEAL. If you think about it, women say “no” in all types of situations! They say “no” to their dogs, their boyfriends, their bosses, their grocer, their best friends… It’s not “you”. OK? It’s a numbers game. Eventually, SOMEONE of a decent caliber will say “yes”…and aaaaaahhhhh glory to that.
Guys, take her to a non-conspicuous part of the dance floor, like in the middle or away from the crowd. You don’t want to embarrass yourself or her.
Then, when the song is over, DO NOT ask her to dance again, time, and time again that same evening, or same week. More importantly, DO NOT HANG ON to her for the next song.
Politely thank her, and that’s it. Of course, if you’re a beginner/intermediate, she’ll consider you a Sacrifice Dance. This is where your “pride” must be thrown out the window. Take advantage of her advice during the dance, and learn how it is supposed to “feel” to lead a good dancer. Learn how to handle her, and just what it takes to get her to move. You’ll be quite surprised at how easy it is. Once you’re done, go back to your regular partner(s), and help them out with what you learned. Show them out of the way someplace. They may get a little frustrated with you at first, but if you tell them “l… ook, I just danced with so-and-so [great dancer], and she did this…” Your partners will listen, and really try to understand what you have to show them.
If you’re a beginner, DO NOT go up to a great dancer, and say, “Will you teach me?” They will definitely, very annoyingly, but politely say, “No. Take a class.” Simply ask them to dance (w/ the statement above). But make sure you’ve taken a few classes first. There is NOTHING WORSE for a high-calibur female, than being abused and tossed around the dance floor by a guy that doesn’t even know the BASIC STEP. Gentlemen, you could actually HURT a woman’s arm if you’ve never partner danced before, and don’t know proper techniques.
I know some dance teams that discourage their high-calibur females to social dance at Festivals and Congress evenings.The Directors send these girls outside to sight-see and shop in the city, or to their hotel rooms to PROTECT them from injury from the hard-core abusive-dancing male dancer attendees at the event. You may think this is unbelievable, but trust me, it happens. When they cannot perform because some guy yanked their arm, it could mean a severe financial loss to that dance company, or even a cancellation of performances until she is healed.CASE STUDY #2:
There are many times I will protect myself from dancing with super-advanced guys that only want to spin me to death, do death drops, throw me in the air, flip me, dip me way too low, force me to do things I am not used to (only their dance team girls do these things, because they KNOW these guys’ moves and how to protect themselves from him)… I will sacrifice dancing with these guys because I know I will get hurt somehow, and not be able to perform nor teach the next day due to an injury sustained the night before from some guy that knew he was being watched / video-taped while dancing with me and wanted to show off his next-to-impossible fancy moves.
So Beginners, WITH THAT SAID, when you become a bad-__ a_a_s, dance to your partner’s level. Do not throw her into every move you’ve ever learned within one song. Love her, cherish her, respect and honor her.
Beginners, when you get better over time (and you will), ask the same great dancer to dance again, in a month or so, then let her TELL YOU how much you’ve improved. It will happen if she’s a decent person. If she doesn’t say anything, it does not mean you haven’t improved. It just means, she didn’t have anything to say to you.
The next month, go back to the same good dancer, then give it another shot. If she’s a decent person, she’ll smile during the dance, let you know “you’re getting better”, or “improved” or whatever, and then thank you at the end of the song. If anything, this should boost your ego, and continue your growth. That’s one thing I’ve noticed about the Salsa crowd. There are a lot of really, really, nice people out there, good morals, sincerity, and people who simply want to have some honest fun.
– Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!
Edie The Salsa FREAK!! Website