A friend of mine forwarded me your article about the PLAYER. Unfortunately, I am one of the un-lucky ones captured by a Salsa-dancing player. I have been seeing him for about 6 months now and I have just recently bring myself to recognize that he IS a player. There were many signs but of course he denies everything. I have always dated very honest and trustworthy men before, so now I am furious that there are such people around and they can get away with it. I want to get back at him. I want HIM to suffer, like I suffocated from a broken heart. All his sweet lies to make me fall for him and then all his mean words to make sure I am not clinging on to him.
What should I do, I will not be satisfied with just walking away. The damage is done and He has to pay, for all his ever so convincing lies. He turned me against my friends and family, he turned my life style up side down. Now am I suppose to just walk away and let him carry on with the next victim’s)???
Dear Edie, we women are NOT wusses, we need to strike back. just not going out with the player is not good enough, there are always some girls that will fall for them. They will always win. Let’s devise a plan to make them FEEL for what they did. I gave my heart, then its stepped on and cut open. Help me, what would make him feel the same pain I felt? -Justice Seeking Salsera”
Dear Justice-Seeking Salsera,
I feel your pain in your every word. I too was played very badly by someone whom I loved very dearly. He hurt me both mentally and physically. I wouldn’t wish what he did to me to the WORST of humanity!
But you know what?
SUCCESS is the SWEETEST REVENGE.
Focus on your SELF. Improve your SELF, be SELFISH, and work on YOUR own SELF-Worth. The best way to get over a relationship is to REPLACE THEM with someone better, smarter, mentally healthy, outrageously funny, stimulating, gorgeous, and absolutely sssssooooo everything your former Player is NOT.
Forgiveness certainly helps, but it takes a while. It happens in stages, over time. First you’ll “say” you forgive him. But won’t feel it in your heart. Then, you’ll tell all your friends that you’ve forgiven him, but then you just realize you said that to make yourself look good. Then, you’ll bring up the courage to actually call and tell him you forgive him, but the way he reacts will just piss you off all over again.
Then, after a while, you’ll learn that your non-forgiveness is affecting your business and success in life. Like heavy baggage, unforgiveness weighs us down both mentally and physically. Unforgiveness makes us ugly and unattractive. Unforgiveness kills the spirit, and causes a rift between us and any future relationships we’ll ever have. If you let this affect you, all your relationships from now on will take on a new meaning of pain and agony. Unforgiveness can scar for life – forever.
To truly succeed in life is to forgive ultimately – wiping the slate absolutely clean. Like a blank sheet of paper, starting over again with a fresh new start.
Start over, from this point in time FORWARD. History is in the PAST. Leave it there, but don’t let your PAST determine what will happen in your FUTURE.
FROM THIS POINT IN TIME, is the beginning.
NOW – TODAY is the beginning of the rest of your life.
Don’t let your belief formula be:
Men + Salsa = Chaos, agony, pain, and hurt.
Change your belief formula back to:
Men + Salsa = Great Dance Partners and the possibility of a Fabulous, Respectful, Loving and Trusting Relationship some day very soon!
God gave humanity a sunrise every single morning so that we can “start over” one more time. We all screw up, every day. Each day He gives us one more chance to make amends and forgive. We need to give ourselves the same chance – a chance to START OVER, FORGIVE, AND MOVE ON LEADING SUCCESSFUL, LOVING, FRUITFUL LIVES.
We need to do the same – start over just like the sun does, each and every day. We will never forget, but we can forgive. The only way we learn is from past mistakes. Take your experience as a learning experience. Seeking revenge will only hurt yourself.
We become WISE when we learn from those that have hurt us the most.
What I’ve realized over the years, is that the people that hurt us the most in life, are really our Spiritual Teachers IN DISGUISE. They were placed in our lives so we could understand and learn about OURSELVES.
I know it will be a very painful process – at times literally unbearable… but once you forgive, (not forget – ever), and simply realize it was one of Life’s “Tests”. You will peacefully move on.
It’s a choice.
Don’t let his actions spoil your dancing and FUN!! When he sees how good you are getting, THAT DAY my friend will be your WIN!!!
It’s YOUR CHOICE. Work on yourself, pray for the power to forgive. Pray for the Player to see the light and change his ways with his future victims. Pray that he realize what he is doing to women. Prayer is the most powerful gift. Pray for Wisdom. Pray for SUCCESS!!!
– Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!
Edie The Salsa FREAK!! Website