Figure #1: “Fantasy Land”
“Dear Edie,
I’ve been noticing lately that women are far more sexually aggressive these days than men. Wow. It’s like, I just wanna dance, but lately, it seems they always want something more. I feel like some of them are sex-starved or something.
– Concerned for today’s modern Salsera”
Dear “Concerned for today’s modern Salsera”,
GET OVER YOURSELF. IT’S NOT “YOU”… IT’S YOUR “LEAD”.
It’s more probable that these women are NOT “sex-starved” at all. When we women go out dancing, we want to escape the realities of life, and submerse our minds and bodies into a mental Fantasy Land (Figure #1 above) of fun, thrills, laughs, and sensuality.
“The female body is designed by our Creator for Pleasure.
It is designed for Creativity and Expression.
It is designed for Fun and Exhilaration”.
Dr. Christiane Northrup, PhD
We women LONG to “express ourselves” physically and emotionally because that is how we are built.
YOU, “Mr. Concerned“, must have taken her to an emotional Fantasy Land, without realizing it.
I always quote my famous line to my Salsa students:
“It is the Man’s Responsibility to Make the Woman FEEL Good,
It is the Woman’s Responsibility to Make the Man LOOK Good.”
– Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!
For a man, learning how to dance Salsa is a LETHAL WEAPON. Bottom Line. Men do not realize this as they are learning / progressing. The better they get, the more women turn their heads toward them, start talking about them, asking them to dance more and more, follow them to the restroom, wait for them … just for an opportunity to FEEL his AMAZING LEAD, and MELT in HIS ARMS!!
Why? Because they CAN!!!
A well-trained Salsero… HAS BEEN CONDITIONED TO DO ALL THAT !!!
so other women can “be informed” of this GREAT Salsa leader!
What is amazing, is that these guys JUST DON’T GET IT at first. THEY ARE COMPLETELY NAIVE and HAVE NO CLUE until a few weeks go by and they start realizing that all these women are following them around, asking for their number, putting their hotel room keys in their trouser pockets…
A few years ago while at a Salsa Congress, a male Salsa instructor [extremely great lead – not good in looks, but AWESOME in Musicality – which is dancing to the HITS and BREAKS of the song] said to me later that night after the social was almost over, “Edie, I have THREE hotel room keys in my pocket. I have NO IDEA who put them there, and who’s they are. Holy smokes!!”
I laughed. I also thought it was cool that he felt comfortable enough around me to tell me that! He was CLUELESS that his LEAD took his dance partners to FANTASY LAND and they wanted more! (It’s disappointing to be dancing with an unbelievable lead, and find out later that he is horrible in bed… YOU DID NOT READ THIS HERE!!!)
Any amazing Salsero that can THROW DOWN at any Salsa nightclub throughout the world has an affect on women like an aphrodisiac. AND I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.
You see, when it comes to dancing Salsa, during the song, women are in a submissive state. We have to “follow”. If you have a great lead, what women feel is far more powerful sensually, than what men feel – … and when the chemistry is right, this feeling is amplified by an order of magnitude.
Yes, men will feel it as well, BUT men have “more responsibilities” out there while leading – so, as a leader, you are far more “distracted” doing your job – WHICH SHOULD AUTOMATICALLY be making her “feel good” in the process.
You sir, have about 25 things you need to think of simultaneously… she only has a few… so she gets to relax and “enjoy” this ride FAR more than you do. (this is why women outnumber the men on the majority of Salsa cruises throughout the world. We want our Fantasy on the HIGH SEAS!!!)
Leaders, at a minimum, have to:
- – Learn enough moves to keep her interested.
- – Make sure she is comfortable, and well taken care of.
- – Maintain self balance and control.
- – Not be too light, nor too heavy.
- – Understand frame and body momentum
- – Keep his arms and feet out of her way.
- – Smile, and tell her how beautiful she looks tonight.
- – Stay on beat.
- – Make sure his lead is not too light, nor too rough.
- – Ask her to dance, and risk the humiliation of a “No”, or lame excuse.
- – Make sure he doesn’t touch her in the wrong place.
- – Allow her the time and space to turn and execute her moves.
- – Make sure just the right amount of hand-pressure is applied on her body.
- – Make sure he doesn’t poke her with his fingers.
- – Protect her from bumping into other dancers.
- – Remember turn patterns and figures
- – Adjust to timing changes in the music
- – Keep her from falling if she is off-balance
- – Make sure there is just the right amount of body-momentum between both of them.
- – Keep the moves fluid, and working together.
- – Display her talents.
- – Display his talents.
- – Play traffic cop on the dance floor
- – Make sure she doesn’t run into anyone, nor let anyone run into her.
- – Dance to the peaks, valleys, and hits of the music.
- – and about fifty other things.
Followers at most, have to:
- – Know the basic steps.
- – Stay balanced.
- – Not be too light, nor too heavy.
- – Smile, and look pretty.
Let me explain.
When you become an amazing Salsero (male Salsa dance leader), and are taught CORRECTLY, your lead becomes progressively intoxicating to women.
I’m not at all surprised about your question “Mr. Concerned”. If you were taught by a woman (especially in a Private Lesson format), who is a quality instructor and an expert at training you on What Women Want to feel in a quality lead, after a while, it will be difficult even for HER to stay focused.
In all the years of my teaching, the following story has only happened to me once.
I was giving private lessons to a budding Salsero. All of the ingredients were present: Respect, Honor, Admiration, Trust, Chemistry, Charisma, Charm, Masculinity, Flow, Comfort, Ease, Manhood… AAAaaaaand, this guy was becoming an amazing Salsero VERY FAST – picking up whatever I taught him faster and faster as the weeks flew by.He was on the rise like no one else I had ever worked with.
After a few weeks, everything seemed to come so natural to him. He was an absolute pleasure to work with. His lead was becoming more and more refined, and powerful. I started thinking to myself, “Wow, in these few weeks, I could REALLY make him a lead to die for – and possibly one of the finest in the world if we keep going like this!”
I started REALLY looking forward to our lessons together more and more because whatever I taught him, he soaked up like a sponge. It got to the point of where all I had to do was show him something ONCE, and he got it. He was like no other student I’ve ever taught – ever.
THE DAY I started teaching him Musicality, was when “It” happened. It was nothing sexual. He didn’t even realize it. His natural movements with the Music broke through, and triggered my “professionally well-hidden during private lessons” feminine side – I was starting to sense an overwhelming feeling of emotions. It felt like an ocean wave of “wanting or longing for him” that I have not felt in a very, very long time. It was all in my mind. While we were dancing, HE HAD NO CLUE what was happening to me all over my mind and body. Time just raced by. What I thought had only been 25 minutes or so of our lesson, was actually over two hours. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.
That single Musicality lesson was the straw that broke the camel’s back. After that, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I couldn’t even sleep that night. He emitted his own masculine “It Factor” on “me” (without realizing it I guess) and I had to have a very serious conversation with him about it the very next day. I was up front, honest, told him exactly what I was feeling, how I felt we may need to stop our lessons together, or slow down, or SOMETHING.
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“I didn’t mean to… Turn you on.” – Robert Palmer |
He just looked at me like a deer in headlights. I finally just blurted out to him… “Hello? Mister, I’m hitting you with a feminine MENTAL 2 X 4 … buddy, GET A CLUE.”
He told me that he was completely oblivious and naive about what his lead and Musicality was doing to me. He probably thought I was a “Sex-starved woman” like you think women are becoming “Mr. Concerned”. Lol.I had to keep things professional – I DID NOT want to be another statistic, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, I wanted to keep our friendship whole, intact, and professional at best. Because of what I’ve been through in the past, I’m very good at separating the student / teacher relationship – I pride myself on it. I never want to lose that with my students. Good reputations in this world are few and far between.
Yes guys, when you take privates with me, I breed you for WOMEN (so-to-speak). I train you for WHAT WOMEN WANT. And I must do a damn good job of it. The masculine power of MUSICALITY even had ME IN “LA LA Land”!!We shook hands, and that was that.
This entire experience came completely unexpected. I was shocked at myself, and what I was feeling as well. I’m so glad we got it out in the open, talked about it IMMEDIATELY – “ripped it off like a band-aid” so-to-speak… VOILA. Done. I let out a huge sigh, and felt completely relieved afterward.
I don’t have any children of my own, so in a way, every one of my students is my “child” so-to-speak. To see how much he grew in such a short period of time; how far he’s come (literally from nothing; no dance experience, barely any rhythm, hard to find the first beat of the music, etc… all the qualities of a typical Beginner), and to realize that what I taught him will not only help him with his future dance partners, but his relationships as well.
– it was difficult to hold back the tears.
I’ve realized that for an instructor, having the opportunity to experience this is extremely rare.
I felt it both an honor and privilege.
I am absolutely convinced, now more than ever, that Salseros have no idea how POWERFUL Musicality is on a woman.
You see, once you understand how to combine
a QUALITY WORLD-CLASS LEAD with “Musically” with your partner …
… that dance is BETTER than sex.
Musicality is the Ultimate. It is Salsa Nirvana, and most average dancers don’t even realize it – they’ve never been exposed to it and are literally missing out on one of the most beautiful experiences any dancer can experience in Salsa. I had no idea that once my student started “getting it” – it would have such a powerful physical and emotional effect on me the way it did.
It is a sanctuary where he can:
- Take care of her
- Cherish her
- Make her feel beautiful
- Hold her
- Protect her in his arms[*=1]Bring her into the music with him
… and take her to a wonderful “Fantasyland” AND BACK – all within a few minutes.
with man after man after man every Salsa night,
… is not only INTOXICATING, but utterly …ADDICTING.
- She can’t get this at work.
- She can’t get this at the gym…
… and she can’t this from reading some TRASHY NOVEL.
It’s all in a Salsero’s QUALITY LEAD.
So “YOU”, “Mr. Concerned” must have an unbelievable lead. 
Happy Dancing!
– Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!
Edie The Salsa FREAK!! Website
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