Women’s Uh… Undergarments

SALSA DANCING:

Wearing Underwear with Class
This is a bit more complicated. I always had a problem with underwear.

• What type?
• What color?
• How High?
• How Low?
• What brand?
• Should I go without?

Here are a few GENERAL GUIDELINES that all dancers should follow
(unless of course, you want to get stared at, talked about, and I don’t think you’d like hearing what men as well as women are saying about you…. )

First of all…. just WHAT are your intentions? No, no, no, let me re-phrase that. What is good taste? Ladies, it doesn’t matter what your intentions are, if it’s done in good taste, your intentions won’t matter in this department. A man WILL NOT find a cellulite-ridden BUTT flattering, NO ONE WILL. No matter how much you think you “don’t” have cellulite. Believe me, when you have that “thong” on (butt floss…G-string, whatever you call it…) EVERY BIT OF extra skin/fat can be seen – especially when you’re jumping around the dance floor, and under lights. Thongs are NOT appealing while dancing – to men, to women, to innocent by-standers – NO ONE. Thongs are only appealing when a person is in a photograph, or just lying there on the beach – when nothing is “wiggling or jiggling”.

Unless you are a bodybuilder, in pre-contest condition, with ripped abs, and striated glutes (buns) hard enough for a bullet to bounce off of, you should not wear a thong under a dress that flairs up when you spin or turn.

I agree, thongs are great. They’re comfortable. They prevent the good ‘ole “BUTT CRAWL that other underwear causes. They eliminate that “picking your butt” look when you’re trying to UNRAVEL IT out from your crack after a dance.
(I HATE THAT!!!).

If you are wearing a flare skirt… You know, the kind that when you spin, your underwear shows….
OK. My partner loves these skirts. What man doesn’t?
HOWEVER….DO NOT wear thong underwear with these dresses.
YOU GOTTA TRUST ME ON THIS LADIES. LISTEN UP.
Believe me, I’ve heard it described (from men) as the following:

• “She’s a wh_ore.”
• “She’s got no class.”
  
• “She’s out for something.”
  
• “I was going to ask her to dance, but not now…”
  
• “What is she thinking about?”
  
• “She needs to get to the gym.”
  
• “That is pretty sick…”
  
• “I think I’m going to be sick…”
  
• “I don’t feel like watching that…”
  

… yes, ladies, the above comments are FROM MEN believe it or not. And these are relatively “thin” women that they’re talking about! There was one gal last year who wore a thong under a flare dress at a competition, and NOBODY noticed the way she danced. JUST her BUTT – which was flabby and wiggled and jiggled…. even though she looked in relatively good shape everywhere else! She even had a flat stomach and great muscle tone…. BUT HER BUTT LOOKED TERRIBLE!!! The sad thing was, that she didn’t even know it, and I don’t think anyone had the nerve to tell her.

How do you do up to someone at a Salsa club and say, “Look, you look great everywhere else but your flabby, flappy BUTT needs some work.”

If you are wearing a skirt or dress that absolutely does not flare, wear the thong. It will be more comfortable, and won’t show a panty line.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS wear your underwear OUTSIDE of your fishnets or pantyhose. There is NOTHING WORSE than seeing a woman’s butt, over-ridden with hose, and the underwear, underneath.
This looks so tacky. The whole reason for the hose is to “simulate” perfect skin on the legs. So this simulation should actually “be” the leg.

What Color?: When in doubt, wear black.
Comment from a friend: “I liked the “Helpful Hints”. The only change I’d make is to tell women to ALWAYS wear underpants without exception. Unless they never sweat, they will find that underpants may help prevent some embarrassment – from a wet stain in the front if they are wearing pants, to a wet spot on the seat if they are in a short skirt.”

If you wear pants, wear thong underwear – the same color or nude colored. Thongs under pants will prevent the “butt pick” look from you trying to unravel your underwear, under the pants. (which is SO HARD sometimes!!! Especially if you’re all sweaty and GROSS)

If you are wearing white pants, wear fish nets or hose underneath. (avoid white pants…) White pants, unless you are in SUPREME condition, make your butt look larger and show EVERY bit of cellulite you own. (yes, I do notice these things – God only knows why…)

To wear a bra or NOT WEAR A BRA…. Another interesting question…
If you wear one, the bra must be the same color as your dress or match your skin color when you are naked: (fair / medium / brown / tan / dark brown). No questions asked. The bra should not be seen – ever, unless it is in good taste, and part of the “outfit”. If you don’t have …..”much”, (like me), going without one will not make any difference – sad, but true. But if you are …. “well endowed”, get a sports bra, or one that’s firm and stable, so when you are dancing, you are dancing with just ONE partner, not THREE.

If you are an African American woman or very dark-skinned stop believing the myth that you should always where a black bra with a light colored clothing. That is far from the truth. Find a bra that matches the color or dress, or one that matches your skin tone. There is a VERY HOT “in-demand” market now for darker brown bras. Read this link for more info.

To wear hose, or to not wear hose…
Now THAT is a GOOD question…
I don’t usually wear hose. Believe it or not, I’ve had more men tell me that they HATE hose. They like the “bare” look. Read my diet plan to accomplish this goal ladies! But, if I have to wear something, I’ll wear the “skin-colored” fishnets. They’re great because they stretch, and last a LONG TIME. They will run you about $20. Get the most expensive, stretchy type – the kind WITHOUT the line down the back (unless you like that look…).

Sometimes fishnets or hose helps if you’re doing a competition and need to do the splits, or rub your legs on the floor. Also, if YOU KNOW you have cellulite, WEAR PANTYHOSE. Dance more, work on your diet, and lo and behold, one day you will not need to wear pantyhose!

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS wear your underwear OUTSIDE of your fishnets or pantyhose. There is NOTHING WORSE than seeing a woman’s butt, over-ridden with hose, an the underwear, underneath. This looks very tacky. The whole reason for the hose is to “simulate” perfect skin on the legs. So this simulation should actually “be” the leg. So, your skin should be “under” your underwear.

Type of underwear to wear for dancing:
Go to a dance shop, and get regular “dance briefs”. The French high-cut type. They are expensive (~$10-$20), but will last for YEARS. They are very stretchy and sturdy, and made for dancers who move around a lot. Don’t wear the Walmart or regular department store type while dancing. These will crawl up your behind faster than you can spin and will wad up constantly. Besides, they look cheap.

I’ve seen some women wear stretch shorts under their dresses. This is fine too. It’s the ultra-conservative look that looks very nice and “non-threatening”.

As for thongs, any will do. There’s not much there, so it doesn’t really matter where you buy these. Just make sure you wear them in good taste.
NOTE: Thongs are made for comfort only – NOT TO BE SEEN on the DANCE FLOOR!!! – except at the beach.

Keep thongs at the beach or WELL HIDDEN by yourself – NOT on the dance floor, because all the world will see, is your bouncy flabby, flappy BUTT – NOT the thong!!!

Happy Dancing!
– Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!
Edie The Salsa FREAK!! Website